Several times, we have done things that has reflected badly on our behaviour and affected our relationships with other people. Due to costly errors in judgement and circumstances that goes beyond our self-control, we have lost the respect of family members, peers, friends, coworkers,partners and even secret and open admirers. Unknowingly, we are burning down precious bridges and when we need to go back, it would have been too late. There are always people in your life who you have had the misfortune of being with at the wrong place and at the wrong time, so you end up doing or saying something you would later regret. And out of the fear of humiliation and embarrassment, 70% of the guilty party will briskly walk out of the relationship and in the process, lose the respect the injured party had for you.
I can give you several reasons why you should try to win back your lost respect and trust and they are as follows;
1. You would have a good relationship with 90% of the people in your life.
2. So many people won’t be out for your downfall (and if suddenly killing isn’t a crime, you’d still be alive!)
3. You would be more productive at work and at places where you have responsibilities.
4. You would have loyal and genuine friends for life. Nobody wants a backstabbing friend…
Mind you it is possible for you to still be in constant communication with the person you have offended but that doesn’t mean the damage has been repaired. It could just mean, you both have no choice but to talk in that situation. I could go on and on about why you should work out getting your respect back but I’d rather give you the necessary tips to help you win back your respect.
Acknowledge the fact that you messed up – This is where it all begins, with you! Know what you did wrong, accept your mistake and while doing this, be 100% honest with yourself as to what started the problem. Besides, there is no one there to look at you with judgemental eyes. You may find this hard to believe but it is only a very few matured people who can willingly own up to their mistakes and muchless to a large audience. So if you pass this step… You deserve a million dollars…
Apologize to the wronged party – Even if the person is going to scream and shout obscenities at you, some daring ones may even venture to throw in a punch or more. Please don’t retaliate instinctively, it might ruin all your chances and hard work to do the right thing. Doing the right thing is hardly ever easy. Swallow your pride, accept your blame and sincerely apologize. Not because you want to keep benefiting from the relationship but because you are genuinely sorry.
Work on Yourself – A lot of people have used this line so many times to get out of a bad relationship and as soon as they are out, they forget the thing they wanted to do initially… Which goes to show they were lying and my sorry goes to you, if someone has ever used this line on you. It’s not a pleasant experience. Work on yourself, your attitude, your personality, and your mindset. Read self help books, motivational and inspirational materials, practice what you have read by setting mini goals for yourself. As you continually do this, it becomes a habit reflecting on your character and is beneficial to you for life. Remember I said to work on yourself, not punish or condemn yourself. Trust me it never helps anyone.
Practice the art of silence as you wait for a response – Yes, silence is an art and it is an art that makes you mysterious, hard to read and it also makes you seem smarter. Like I said earlier, not everyone would willingly accept you back into their good graces. Some could just enjoy watching you grovel and they would eventually forgive you, some forgive instantly and sadly you may never get the forgiveness of some… Yeah, life happens… Whatever the case, practice the golden art of silence. Even though the urge to reply and defend yourself is eating you up, brave it up and keep quiet. Let the offended party speak and express their grievances and when they are ready, you will be right there to welcome back the relationship.
Be graceful in rejection – If nothing seems to work and you are at the end of your options at attaining redemption, honorably and dignifiably hold your head high as you walk away from the relationship. Don’t cry or start a scene or become a pest to the person. Sometimes, it is the way you accept rejection that leads to your redemption.
With this few tips, I hope you can find the courage or help someone find the courage to win back lost respect and trust. A Big Thank you goes to you my darling readers for visiting BlackWordz today. You are Amazing! Believe that. Please don’t leave without dropping a comment on your thoughts, opinions and additions. I would love to hear from you.
I remain your humble write – Charis Black