Stuck in Life huh?
Some call it midlife crisis or confusion, while some just record that period of their life as the period where they were just tired of living and tired of life!
It is that feeling you get when your life is on a standstill, stagnant , no progression or regression, just stuck like mud. This stuck up feeling is the feeling that makes you doubt all your wonderful self assuring words and thoughts until you feel like “this is a good time to die – my life is over ”
Please don’t get to that stage
You find yourself making all the wrong choices, no creative juice flowing anywhere and it just seems like you are going to be in the gray area for a long time. These moments are like obstacles, limitations of thoughts that just stops us in our tracks. It feels like a black hole, you can’t see anything, you can’t see where your life is headed, you can’t pursue your dreams. You become confused and everything seems hopeless because you can’t physically deal with your problem, it is an invisible obstacle. You want to help yourself but you don’t know where to start from because this problem, this obstacle is invisible, ephemeral, phantasmal and unseen but greatly felt.
If you noticed, there are lots of “feelings” in the write up and this is because the stuck feeling is just what it is, a feeling and not a fact. so don’t let your feelings drive you to madness…
Now one of the most exciting things about this stuck up feeling is that: it’s all in your head. It’s in your mind and this means that you can do something about it. That’s you can change the game, you can decide the flow. All you have to do is to make a choice to make a change.
And there is a need for a change because if not you won’t be bothered about the stuck up feeling. This simply means your life needs a change, a turn around. Some people discover this need to change and then they visit spiritual and religious centres for a change… However, The change is right inside of you.
Something spectacular I discovered in research and also in experience is that people who reported to have this stuck feelings like confusion, irresistible laziness, overwhelmed, tired….
…or like a certain somebody would say “overgasted” and “flabberwhelmed”…
In most cases, people like these are quite ambitious, Intelligent, talented, gifted and brilliant. Look at people like Albert Einstein, Walt Disney, and many others all faced challenges and had these stuck up moments when it felt like they were just wasting their time. However, they didn’t give up, they persevered and now they are celebrated all over the world. It starts and ends with you. These role models decided to not stay stuck, despite the odds, they found a way to win and you can as well.The one really important thing to do is to move ahead no matter the challenge or obstacle that you are confronted with in life. You need to decide to break free, you need to make a choice to be the master over your feelings, your emotions, your thoughts and hence your life.Do not just let life pass through you, you need to pass through life and excel in life.Don’t let your emotions and feelings rule you, Rule your emotions.
This post is so relatable to me and some other people I know personally. Because I have experienced this stuck feeling a lot of times, I used to have writers block, stagnant passiveness. I would set out on a lot of goals to achieve at once and when things don’t work out how they were supposed to, I’d break down and criticize myself harshly, I’ll walk around like a sad story and cry myself to sleep most of the time, until I came across this audio book “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne. It helped me change my thinking pattern and some other books like “Power Of the Mind” by Rev Dr Dr Chris Oyakhilome. These materials helped me tremendously and I decided to read more from the internet and I saw a lot of inspiring posts and articles which improved my outlook on life. In this post, I shall be sharing with you in no particular order, 8 things I did that helped me get unstuck whenever I got stuck.
1.Battle your fears and WIN: It is our fears that stops us from progressing in life, Not “failing” but the fear of failing that inhibits us and destroys any hope of a successful life. Failing is good, it shows you your strength and your weakness, sometimes it shows you where you need to improve on and you come up better and stronger. Learn to accept the situation you find yourself in, don’t let the situation limit you. Confront the elephant in your life, know and accept that it would take a while for your efforts to pay off… no pain no gain right? Do not be afraid of failure, instead be concerned about the not having the courage to try.
2.Change your life one step at a time: Tackle a problem or a challenge, one after the other. Instead of trying to deal with everything simultaneously. It can be harder and pose more problems for you as not being able to do what you want to, which leaves you more helpless and hopeless and pushes you deeper into the black hole of confusion. What you should do is to know what you want to do, Either it is to solve a problem or to achieve a goal, make a careful plan on how to execute and then act on these plans on after the other according to their levels of importance.
it does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.
Confucius said it right. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you decide to be a millionaire and it was doesn’t happen until after 10 years… Don’t beat yourself up about it. It takes time, everything in life has its incubation time and when its set, efforts would materialize in the right conditions. Just know this and take your life one step at a time.
3.Break up your usual routine and embrace adventure : Develop a routine that would be much more beneficial to you as you make your way towards your goal in life. You need to expand your horizon, be adventurous, be daring, take risks, try something new and exciting everyday. Surprise yourself. When you know that you have some habits or routine that is time-wasting and mindless, break from it. Things like daydreaming, lounging in bed all day, Excessive napping, too much movies and entertainment etc are habits that have to go. You need to prepare for the unknown and delve. If you are really ready for a change you need to prepare your mind for the known and unknown.
4.Be Honest with yourself : The reason we find ourselves stuck in life is as a result of our earlier decisions, wrong life choices and bad habits. Some people would never come to the conclusion or realization that they might actually be the cause for their failures and they try to pin their misfortune on others, situation and life. This can never help. It is best to tell yourself the truth. Have the courage to look deep down within you and in most cases, the answer is right there. Most times people don’t act upon the knowledge that they might be the cause of their problems because they don’t want to take the blame. The truth is that it is your life and you are the only one that can help yourself, don’t blame others. It may feel good at the time but it won’t change your situation. So the best thing to do is to take a hold of your life and tell yourself the truth.
5.Overcome the mirage of impossibility: Let go of negativity and limiting words like “I can’t do it”, “it’s impossible”, “it’s too difficult “, ” it’s hard… ” and the likes. These kinds of thoughts paralyzes the mind and diminishes your ability to see new and exciting opportunities. The more you think it is impossible for you to do something, the more stuck you get. It is just a flabberwhelming situation all over again. What you think is impossible, most likely isn’t because you might just be confused from having too many options to choose from. Our thinking pattern contributed greatly to the feeling of being Stuck if we keep thinking every option we have is impossible, and then progress would be out of reach for a very long time. When you find yourself in so much of a dilemma, just relax and explore your options more thoughtfully and carefully with an optimistic mindset and you will discover that the impossible mountain ahead was just a small rock, a mirage of the mind.
6. Don’t compare your life with others, it’s not attractive : It is a quite natural tendency to compare your life with others. Humans are social beings, we interact with other people, practically notice the things they have that we don’t have, sometimes we admire them but most times we envy and become jealous of them… correct me if I am wrong… When you begin to compare your life with others, it becomes hard for you to appreciate your own strengths and abilities because you are focusing on another person’s strengths which is most likely your weakness or perhaps it is the same strength that you have but because you are unaware of your powers and ability, you languish in that charcoal gray state and end up hating your life. This is one of the biggest mistake an individual can make. Conducting a destructive criticism of your self based on the life of a totally different person,rather if you must, do a constructive criticism, learn the things you would like to have and train yourself to be the best at it. People don’t realize when they are victims of this silent disease. It has become a norm, everybody does it. Parents do it to their children, Teachers do it to their students, Bosses do it to their employees, even you do it with yourself and your friends. I’m not left out… and this is bad because everybody has different characteristics, strengths and peculiarities. My strength could be your weakness and your strength could be my weakness. It doesn’t mean you are better than me. It simply means that you are you and I am me. Try not to compare your life with others, it does more harm than good and when you don’t like the results you are getting …which is most of the time… you begin to feel sad and depressed. You alone will suffer for your follies. Life is not a competition, neither is it a race. Each man for himself, that is how it is. Don’t just mindlessly adopt the society definition of a successful person. Break from the regular, Be irregular. Find your own success and measure your life based on your own standards.
7. Stop making excuses and own up to your responsibilities: when you take up your cross of responsibilities,you become more matured, more reliable and more experienced. Even when the fault is not yours, you are the one to make it right, you are the problem solver and the solution finder. People instinctively look up to you whether you are aware of it or not. You become a leader. Sounds good, doesn’t it? This is what happens when you stop making excuses for incidents and you start owning up to your responsibility and sometimes taking on additional responsibilities. Excuses are made by cowards. If you know you have been caught in a bad place, wisely keep shut and only speak when you have a solution or a helpful suggestion. This way you seem more in control and you won’t have your words later working against your favour.
And if the fault is yours own up honorably and start working towards a solution. I learnt this the hard way.
8. Gratitude is vital : Do not underestimate the power of gratitude and the value of a grateful heart. Be grateful for what you have, where you are and who you have become because there are so many people who don’t have quarter of what you have and they are still alive and hustling. You have two eyes, be grateful, you have your whole physical composition in perfect condition, be grateful. You are alive and well, for that alone,be grateful. Once you can happily appreciate yourself, you expose yourself to the right condition for growth and improvement.
Well, a lot have been said. There is an African proverb which I feel is appropriate for the conclusion of this post… In Nigerian Pidgin, “Plenty talk no dey full basket” (this means that too much talking doesn’t solve a problem) and I concur to this. The only way to get about a change is if you act on the provided solution as soon as possible. The information in this post was very helpful to me and I hope you can find some help in it too.